The intersection of marriage and religion.
I think perhaps marriage is the greatest spiritual example
mankind will ever be given. It can either be a great joy as oneness or unity or
it can be great pain as a partnership of works. Most of the time people spend
focused on the outworkings of marriage or the fruit of it but fail to see the
root of where it is and should be founded. We have marriage counselors who
assist couples in dealing with the issues and themselves cannot see the very
basis of marriage many times is actually based in partnership not marriage.
So what is a marriage and what is a partnership? I guess it
is relatively obvious so let’s start with partnership. When two people come
together and put the word marriage on their relationship. When the relationship
is based in self it will always strive to have needs met. A partnership is psychopathic
by the very nature of where it is grounded and any who have been the victim of
a psychopath know it is certainly not fun, refreshing or full of love. All
partnership fail at some point. Usually as greed and power manifest with the perception
of success.
Now while the romance propels the relationship it is a
beautiful thing but we find over time a marriage can descend into partnership
rather rapidly. I have needs that have to be met and many have the idea in
marriage it is the other persons work to meet those needs. Where once sexual
areas seemed to bring together, they now seem to separate and as time goes on
it becomes a labor of love or a partnership of convenience.
Marriage is a thing of beauty when allowed to develop in the
holy spirit of where it is born. It is in romance we find the spiritual key to
ignite marriage and have two people unite as one. Yes spiritually they can
connect but if they do not allow the freshness of the spirit, they will feel a connection
but their actions repel. Yes the culture we have placed ourselves in demands so
much and as we submit to these demands it only serves to separate and divide
intimacy. Romantic intimacy is alive when there is no agenda, no purpose. One
cannot mistaken sexual areas for romance. They are an outflowing of romance but
they do not generate romance or sustain romance. Without getting into this area
too deeply let’s just say, when sex is based in lust it is psychopathic and
destructive to romance.
True intercourse is when a man and a woman come together in
a spiritual journey of life. As they merge there is no self, there is no “me”
it becomes one. It becomes one action, one individual made up of two. This unit
moves as one, loves as one, ignites as one, and shares passion for unification.
Not for a moment but rather for a lifetime. The lifetime is in-comprehendible
and is not a reason it is a symptom of love that is alive. As sexual areas
descend into the desires of “me” then the marriage itself begins on its spiral
downward to a partnership.
A man wants his sexual needs met and the woman wants her
emotional connection and never the twain shall meet. I have often wondered why
God created man and woman so vastly different in sexual areas. Then as I saw
the beauty of romance with God it became clear why. Yes as marriage matures the
romance deepens and strengthens. This change of pace transfers into sexual
areas and many fail to move with that flow. They look back to what was and fail
to live the moment and enjoy the “now”.
Not to mistaken romance for sex. As a young (not necessarily
in age) man and woman we find romance involved crazy actions of being
irresponsible and spontaneous. But as depth comes one must allow the life of a
marriage to breathe. The original romance drew together and culminated in
marriage now romance no longer draws together it is an outflow of “one”. Not to
be mistaken for actions romance has become a state of being not of doing. Only
as a marriage wastes time together with no purpose can they discover the true
flavor of the true poetic symphony they now “BE”(as a state).
In spiritual unity the two have now become one and as one,
they do not do things for each other to keep a happy marriage. To journey as
one and just “be” the needs of the other are ministered to in a complete way.
Needs get met, by just spending time together and savoring the completeness of
who we have become. Again the culture around us demands or screams for changes.
Money, kids, work, homes etc become a focus and as we convince ourselves we are
being responsible we fail to see we have surrendered the out-workings of our
marriage and are descending into a partnership. All partnerships fail in time!
The issue for many has been their spirits are merged down
deep in their inner being but their actions divided. So when you talk to the
divorced they will almost always say there is still a connection to their
previous partner. The bible says it this way. “what God joins nobody can separate”.
Divorcees may hate each other and never see each other but they still feel
joined in some way.
Yes there is hope for marriage and as one surrenders to the
spiritual romance of their life they will discover immense now passion of life.
Perhaps we should say “religion steals intimacy”. Religion ultimately is man worshiping himself in humanistic systems he has fabricated to hide in and
convince himself he is not about himself. Religion steals intimacy and that
religion may be sports or church or business or money. As mankind walks religion
he surrenders intimacy. Really the answer is simple and pure. As inside every
man, woman and child there is a romantic pulling. Something birthed in their
gift and usually smothered by culture. This secret place of the creative draws
us to unity with God and mankind. As we first and foremost yield our identity
to the spiritual drawing within then true unity comes. As we must lose our life
to find it and we can only lose our life as we allow true spiritual romance to
be alive in us. Not by actions but by the very nature of our deep spirit
calling to deep. This is what Jesus is all about what a travesty religion makes
Jesus about partnership and using him to get. Maybe why so many struggle in
faith they were never married to the Godhead.
Perhaps the greatest example of a spiritual marriage that
nobody can ever explain naturally is the Godhead.